So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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