I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
