the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
