I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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