That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can I color on your dick again?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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