I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
