Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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