Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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