your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
