my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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