I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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