I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize