Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
