So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
