You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
