For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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