is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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