connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
