are you still at the devil's house?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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