oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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