Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
