So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
