Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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