it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
