two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
