I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
