I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
