Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
