I have demons in me.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
