You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
