Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
