i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
