He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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