I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I could fuck to npr.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
