I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
