so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
