We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
