so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
