Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She's not a foreskin expert like you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
