YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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