I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
