upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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