So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
