Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize