i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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