Come see our sink grown plant.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
