Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
