Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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