Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
