yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
