you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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