He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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