Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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