I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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