it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
