I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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