Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
