i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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