Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
