white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
