i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
