is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
