i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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